Distinguished What?!

A few months ago, I received a phone call from the head of the department of accounting at Texas A&M-Commerce.  They wanted me to be their Alumni Ambassador for 2012.  Apparently, every year each department at the university selects one alumni to represent their department who has gone on to be successful after graduating from there.  And they wanted me?!  It doesn't seem like I would fit the bill, but I entertained the idea.  In addition to attending the luncheon and awards ceremony, they also wanted me to come speak to a group of accounting students.  Wait! Public speaking is still not one of my strong suits.  I get super-nervous about it.  Anyways, there could not have been a worse time than this week at work for me to miss pretty much an entire day.  But I did it.  I was so busy the past few weeks with work that I have been procrastinating on writing my speech/talking points for the class.  Work just piled up, so after I finished my work the night before, I was up til 1:30am writing my speech!  Needless to say I was exhausted on my big day.  I was also allowed to bring a guest with me.  I initially thought of bringing Jordan; although he would be bored out of his mind, he would go if I really asked him too.  But then I thought, what person has been so instrumental in helping me select my career path and being a great mentor to me for 15 years?  My high school accounting teacher, Mrs. Richardson.  Not only was she a terrific teacher to me for four years, we have kept in touch and she has been a part of other big days: my wedding, baby showers for both my boys, and long heart-to-heart talks when I've needed someone to listen.  She's always a voice of reason.  She was the perfect person to attend with me, and she so graciously took the whole day off of work to go with me.

I hate to admit it, but Thursday was my first day back to campus since the day I walked across the stage to collect my diplomas in December 2004.  Woopsie.  Needless to say, the campus has changed in the past seven years, and new buildings are everywhere.  I'm so glad I printed off a campus map to help me find my way.  I made my way (in the cold rain!) to the new Alumni Center for a breakfast reception to meet the accounting department head and mingle with him, other professors/deans, and the other 35 or so alumni ambassadors for their respective departments.  I totally felt out of place and much younger than nearly everyone else there.  Could I really be considered distinguished enough and be among such great company to receive this award?!  After mingling for an hour or so, we headed over to the Business building to get ready for the class I would be speaking to.  When I was first approached about this, I was asked to speak about 40  minutes.  WTH?!  What in the world could I talk about for that long?  They wanted me to talk about my career at KPMG, what I did, and encourage other students to pursue a career in accounting (not necessarily public accounting like me).  Our recruiting department at work was nice enough to hook me up with some KPMG magazines about us and internship opportunities and also some neat little supply kits with our logo on it.  What kid wouldn't want some free stuff?

After being introduced, I stepped up to the podium to face about 80 students.  Gulp!  My heart was pounding out of my chest as I began to speak.  After about 5 minutes, I finally calmed down and managed to speak for 30 minutes.  I answered some questions from both students and professors, they applauded me and I made my exit.  Yay me, I did it!  I felt so much relief after I was done.  I hope I didn't scare them; after all, March is not exactly the best time of year for me to be positive and encouraging about a career in accounting when I'm working crazy hours. :)

After relaxing with the department head and Mrs. Rich for a few minutes, we headed over to the luncheon portion, where they introduced each alumni ambassador, read a bio about us, and received our award.  I had to write my own bio beforehadn, which was weird to talk about myself in third-person.  Odd for sure.  Finally, we had all been recognized, posed for some pictures, and I was on my way.

Although I had so much anxiety about going to speak and didn't necessarily want to take the time away from work to attend, I'm so glad that I did.  I may not have gone to some big prestigious university like SMU, but I'm still pretty dang proud of myself for being selected as the accounting department's alumni ambassador for TAMU-C.  After all, I was the first person on both sides of my family to attend and graduate from college.  I'm thankful for the recognition, and for Mrs. Richardson for coming out to support me.  She's always there for me when I need her!

Anyways, that's me, a distinguished alumni, after only being out of school for 7 years.  Eeeeek! :)

Seriously?!

Crazy busy week at work, coupled with unanswered health concerns and continued family drama. Yay!

I go back and forth on my posts, whether it's a sweet update on the kiddos, something silly, vacations, or drama about our lives. Sometimes I think I may blog a little too much information.  But, it's my blog and I can write what I want. If you don't like it, don't read it! It's also a form of therapy for me, to get all of my thoughts and emotions out on paper (or keyboard).  I don't have time for real therapy, so this is as good as it gets for me.

My family is no stranger to drama, just like everyone else's.  But sometimes I wonder if we have more than the average family, and usually I think that we do.  This is completely not normal!  On top of all the stress I have right now, my phone rang at work today.  After glancing at the caller ID, I quickly hit the ignore button, as I was not in any kind of mood to hear my biological father's voice on the other end of the line.  Mind you, I probably haven't spoken to him in over a year, or seen him in nearly two.  We don't have any sort of relationship, and he has not been a part of any major events in my life: my childhood, high school graduation, wedding, college graduation, or the birth of either of my kids.  And his absence is fine by me.  The only memories I have from my childhood of him are less than pleasant.  On our weekend visitations with him when I was in elementary school, my sister and I would frequently be left unattended and wander around the streets, while he lay passed out from his drunken night before.  Or on other occasions, he would just take us with him to play video games at the bar while he got hammered.  Or the one time when he got arrested for a DWI while I was in the car with him, and got to ride to the station in the police car.  Those are all vivid memories of my times with him.  Over the years, his drinking got more excessive and the drug use out of control as well.  Needless to say, he is not right in the head these days. It really amazes me how something terrible didn't happen to us while with him, or why we're not raging alcoholics ourselves and turned out to be relatively normal and successful. It drives me absolutely crazy when people make excuses for how their life has gone, because they had a bad upbringing or unhealthy examples.  Life is what you make of it; and at some point, you learn the difference between right/wrong and what kind of life you deserve.   

Fast forward to today, when I played back the voicemail he left for me.  I expected to hear the usual slurred speech and a conversation that just didn't make sense.  Instead, there was just one sentence, 'I am deleting you and your phone number from my life.'  Yep, that was it.  Granted, we don't have any form of relationship these days, but the words still hurt.  I am his daughter.  And he may have just been drunk/high/delusional and spouting off things he may not even remember tomorrow.  If he is out of my life for good, then so be it.  I don't need people who don't value me and my family, and who live a life that I disagree with.  You want to delete me from your life, well welcome to the club.  It seems to be a trend these days.

I will continue to surround myself with only those who love me and my family, and that bring happiness into my life, not drama.  On that note, I will be spending the weekend with the most awesome people in my life! I am thankful everyday for each and every one of them.

Treading Water.....

Well, it's definitely the end of February. I'm not drowning at work yet, but I'm treading water for sure! I'm already so exhausted, but I know the end is in sight.....only 5 more weeks to go. (And then a week off!)  It's been a bit of a struggle to get to daycare everyday, and then work nearly every night til around midnight after I put the boys to bed. Although, one of my stress relievers is to bake. I'm constantly baking yummy treats for my team, sometimes even late at night.  But it seems to boost morale, and give them a sugar rush to work a little more. :) In return for all my goodies, my team got me a gift card to Blue Fish, one of my favorite hibachi places. It was so sweet of them!  It's definitely all about the people you work with when you're in public accounting.  If you don't enjoy spending lots of time with your co-workers, you won't last long. I'm fortunate to have a great group working with me. :)

In between reviewing workpapers, I've been making time to spend with my boys any chance I can get.  Chase will be 14 months next week, and Austin is 3 going on 10!  We've almost got Chase to walk, but not quite.  I swear my boys are just lazy and prefer not to walk.  I think another two weeks and he'll have it down.  He better get ready to hunt some Easter eggs in April! :)  He also now has a total of 10 teeth!  He truly eats anything and everything. And Austin is just a madman.  The things that come out of his mouth are just hilarious and I can't keep a straight face.  He literally just carries on a full conversation and will quiz me on things like numbers, places, and colors.  I've been debating on when to start him in organized sports.  But he loves all sports, especially baseball.  This past weekend, he went with Uncle LoLo for the day to a double-header junior college game and had a blast.  Between the games, he was on the field with the players in a circle throwing a ball to each player.  Superstar!  In the meantime, Chase stayed back with Mommy and MeowMeow to go pick out wedding invitations and pick up my bridesmaid dress.  He really lucked out, huh?!

Sorry to keep it short, but I've still got another two hours worth of work to wrap up tonight.  Hopefully I can have another update soon, but life is so busy right now!  Here's a few recent pics!

Look who learned to ride the four-wheeler!

My boys!!

Big boy!

My workout buddy!

Properly eating Oreos! :)

Bath time fun!

Matters of the Heart

In my continued effort to figure out what's going on with me and my body lately, I visited with a cardiologist this week.  After answering a slew of questions, I was told that it could all be due to my stupid thyroid or possibly a heart problem.  So we'll run some tests to try to rule out the heart.  This morning I started wearing an 'event monitor'.  I have electrodes on my chest, attached to a recording device on my hip (looks like a beeper).  And on the other hip I have to wear a cell phone-looking thing to transmit recordings to a heart monitoring company.  I swear, between the beeper and cell phone on my hip and the electrodes peeking out of my shirt, I look like a real weirdo.  I have to wear this thing for a full week, even when I sleep.  I can't help but wonder what the recording will look like during certain events. But I won't go there. :)  And I can press the recording button if I start having dizziness, lightheadedness, etc. to get a snapshot of a particular time.

Then in a week, I get to go have a stress echo cardiogram.  When the doctor described it, all I could picture was an episode of King of Queens where Doug is running on the treadmill out of breath hooked up to the monitors. :)  They're going to take ultrasound images of my heart, then have me run on a treadmill, and then take more pictures of my heart.  Hope I can keep up on the treadmill!

Love Fest!

Is it really already Valentine's Day?!  I swear these past few weeks have been crazy hectic and I barely found time to get all the Valentine goodies together.  First off, here's a pic of my two Valentines this morning. Austin is being a ham, as usual; and don't you love his rain boots?!  He inists on wearing them all the time like his friends at school.  And Chase is my little Cuddlebug.  That's his new nickname these days, as he loves to cuddle. And I soak up every second of it!  He wouldn't sit still very well this morning for a picture, so this is as good as it gets.

 Okay, onto my crafts.  I have had many late nights in the past week taking care of the boys, doing some work I brought home, and wrapping up all of these Valentine's.  This momma is exhausted!  Of course, Pinterest provided lots of inspirations, and it was difficult to decide what to go with.  For Austin's class, I decided to make these cute envelopes made out of felt, with each kid's initial on the front.  Inside, there was a Valentine card and some M&M's.  In the beginning, I thought they were adorable and the greatest idea ever.  By the time I was hand-sewing the button on #10 (of 25!), I was totally over it.  But I pushed through and got them finished.

For Chase, I went back-and-forth on what to do.  I ended up making these heart-shaped pillows with each kids' initials on the front. And on the back there was a little pocket to tuck in some goldfish for his friends.  The boys got teal and the girls got pink.  These actually went together way faster than Austin's; maybe it's because there's only 12 kids in Chase's class. :) (And yes, I took them to his class in a V.S. bag.)

Tonight I've got to make some treats for my audit team to take to work tomorrow. Heart-shaped red velvet whoopie pies......they're going to be delicious!

Anyways, Happy Valentine's Day! Jordan and I enjoyed parents' night out last Friday, munching on hibachi, having drinks, and watched The Vow.  It was a much-needed date for us, and he topped it off last night with some beautiful pink tulips from him and the boys.  Love them! 

Falling Apart

In a few months, I will turn the big 3-0 and I swear, my body is just falling apart on me! :)

Last week I went in to have my biopsy done.  I was so nervous and stressed about it all week.  Luckily, they let Jordan come back into the procedure room with me.  But between the radiologist, pathologist, and ultrasound tech, there wasn't any room for Jordan to be by my side.  He just had to wait patiently in his little chair across the room until it was over.  First off, I was very excited/relieved that it was the actual radiologist that performed the actual procedure, not just some random ultrasound tech.  After taking some images of my big 'ol thyroid and the nodule on it, they then stuck the needle in.  I just clinched my eyes closed waiting for them to be done.  I'm usually one to watch when getting my blood taken, but no way in hell was I going to watch them suck stuff out of my neck.  They drained some of the fluid from the cyst and then took a sample of it to be tested.  Then we moved onto the solid part of the cyst, when he was moving the needle all around to get some of it.  Yowsers!  Finally, they were done.  After waiting for confirmation from the pathologist that they had retrieved enough cells, we were on our way.  Immediately afterwards, I didn't feel too bad.  But after about 30 minutes, my neck was swollen and sore.  I could barely turn my head to the side, and felt like I had whiplash or something.  Jordan picked up some food for me on the way home, and then I popped some ibuprofen and took my butt to bed.  I think I laid in bed til 2pm.

Finally, this morning I got a call from the endocrinologist's office with my test results.  It's benign!  Yay, what a relief.  I have to be honest; I've been worried about the 'C' word all week.  I think I would have been fine had it been; I don't think thyroid cancer is a death sentence by any means.  But I'm certainly thankful that it didn't turn out that way.  Now, I will continue on my higher dosage of meds and other supplements and report back in 6 weeks.  Since it's benign, I'm not quite sure what we'll do from here.  If this this is going to keep getting bigger, and pressing on my thyroid and esophagus, I'd just rather get it taken out.

In other health news, I've been feeling very 'off' lately. (No, I'm not pregnant!)  About two weeks ago, I had an 'episode' where all of sudden in a store I got a wave of nausea, light-headed, and dizzy.  After sitting on a bench to wait, Jordan brought the car around for me.  Then I got in the car and blacked out, not remembering anything for the following hour.  Scary! And I've had a couple other days where I've gotten dizzy, light-headed, nauseous, and a headache again (but no blacking out).  So, off to the doctor.  But I had to find another doctor because my doctor I had been going to since I was twelve had retired last year and sold his practice.  Bummer, I miss him so much!  I searched the internet and found a suitable one nearby and went in yesterday.  She ran a full blood panel, and everything came back fine today.  Now I'm getting a referral to a cardiologist.  Grrrrrr.  More doctors appointments.  In busy season.  I don't really have time for all of this right now, but I know that I have to put my health first and figure out what's going on with my body.  It very well could be my crazy thyroid throwing my body completely off, but we'll check other things out for sure. 

Hello, doctor bills! :)

Brotherly Love

These two boys of mine are becoming the best of friends!  They play so well together, and we've finally gone back to taking baths together.  Although, Austin insists that they take a bath in Mommy's big bath tub.  Whatever works.  But I love watching them play together!!