Time to Reflect

It's been a busy couple of weeks, and I just realized it's been more than two weeks since I blogged. There seems to be so much that I need to catch up on........t-ball season is in full swing, first trip to the dentist for Austin, Mother's Day, wedding preparations, etc.  I'll get to all that stuff, on another day.  But the past few weeks have also been a little different.  I don't know if it's just different things that I have going on in my life right now, my impending 30th birthday in a matter of weeks, or just growing up. But I've felt a little 'off' lately, more introspective, and quiet.  Even at home; I've got a DVR full of shows that I'm usually itching to catch up on. But instead, I've been enjoying the peace and quiet after putting the boys to bed and just reading or thinking.  In fact, I've read 10 books in the past month alone.  I know, crazy, right?! (Another post to come, on some of my great reads.)

Anyways, so all this thinking and reflecting has made me want to do a blog about things that I'm thankful for. It seems kinda appropriate since it's been nearly 6 months to the day since Thanksgiving when I last did a post on it.  So, forgive me for getting sappy or emotional; it's just the kinda mood I was in today.

• I'm thankful for a great support system.  My job has finally slowed down, but Jordan's job continues to provide difficulties as far as his schedule goes.  Most nights when he works, it's 10:30 or so before he makes it home.  And he usually works most weekends, too.  It can get lonely being here by myself night after night, and overwhelming trying to keep up with the boys being solo.  I try to be strong and act like I can handle it on my own. But the truth is, it's hard.  Not only for me, but it's hard on Jordan to be away, too.  I know we're doing what we need to do right now for him to have a good paying job to help support us, but that doesn't make it any easier. But I'm thankful that I have some great friends and family who can step in to either cheer me up, watch the boys for a few hours while I get a breather, or just let me hang out with them so that I don't have to be alone.  These special people in my life are my rock, and I couldn't make it through life without them. 
  
  
• I'm thankful for some amazing co-workers.  Each year, our firm does 'Upward Feedback', where I have to submit names of people that have worked for me throughout the year to provide an evaluation on me. Typically, it's your bosses providing the evaluation on you, but this was the other way around.  Their responses are anonymous, so you never know what people would say, given the courage of anonymity.  I'd been kinda having a crappy week already and really needed some positive news, and it couldn't have come any faster when I got the email with all the results combined.  The many staff and seniors that have worked for me had such kind words to say about me.  No matter what's going on in my personal life, I try to always have a positive attitude at work, respect my staff, and encourage them.  And it looks like I've succeeded in that.  It just makes me sad that I'll be leaving them behind in a few weeks when I begin my new rotation. 
  
  
• I'm thankful for how a song can bring back so many memories.  Typically on the weekends when the kids and I are playing around in the house, I'll put CMT on for us to dance around to some music.  A few weeks ago, this one song came on and the video instantly caught my attention and I can't seem to get it out of my head.  For some reason, it just reminds me of Jordan.  Maybe it's the black Chevy truck, a handsome guy who hasn't shaved in a few days, or the black baseball cap.  It reminds me of the days when we first met. How carefree we were.  I don't know, it's silly, but it's instantly become one of my favorites and I replay it often. And just to give you a visual, here you go. (I know, typical country song.) Jordan seriously needs to learn to play the guitar!
   


• Kinda continuing with the above one, I'm thankful for Jordan.  He's an amazing husband and father.  We both get caught up with the craziness of our everyday life and alone time is few and far between. But it's the simple texts before he clocks in for work, or seeing him walk through the door at night when I'm just about ready to head to bed after a long day, that I look forward to.  Last week, I had a difficult night, after a long unexpected phone call with someone that left me pretty upset.  After putting the boys to bed, Jordan ran to the store for my favorite $8 bottle of wine.  We sat up talking late, sipping on wine, and watched Duck Dynasty (seriously, who watches that!?).  He knows just what I need to cheer me up and talk things out with me.  I guess that's what you can expect from someone you've been with for ten years now (which is still crazy). But I'm glad we still have that connection.  Recently, I learned that a friend of mine was getting a divorce, and it broke my heart. I'm realizing that we are the statistic;  the one that is surviving through it all.
  
  
• My boys. What can I say about my boys. I'm completely outnumbered in this house, even with a boy dog.  Austin has been having his moments lately, pushing my limits sometimes, making me wonder where that sweet little boy has gone. I'm hoping it's just a phase, then relishing the warmth I feel when I pick him up from school at the end of the day as he wraps his arms tightly around my neck.  And my sweet Chase Chase.  That kid is so dang sensitive and gets his feelings hurt so easily.  His nickname at school is 'Teddy Bear', and he lives up to it most definitely.  He loves to cuddle and be held.  I can't imagine my life without these sweet little boys in it; they truly complete me.  No matter what kind of day I've had a work, or whether I'm brought to tears by a mean letter, everything is better when they're in my arms. 

Of course, that's not all I'm thankful for. But those are my top five right now.  I'll try to get around to blogging about all the fun stuff that's been keeping me busy soon. :)