How Many Kids is Enough?

I have to admit, over the past few weeks, I've been revisiting my decision to get my tubes tied when I go in for my c-section. Am I doing the right thing? Will I regret it in two years when I get baby fever again? I guess some of my thoughts are due to people inquiring about it all the time. As soon as family/friends/co-workers, or even complete strangers, find out that we're having another little boy, what's the first thing out of their mouth? 'Are you going to try for a third to get a girl?!' First of all, I would never try for a third child for the sole purpose of trying to get a daughter. I just think that would be ridiculous, and by tempting fate, I would end up with three boys. :) And if I had another boy, would I be resentful, wishing he had been a girl? And why do people assume that I need to have both a son and daughter? Granted, it would be nice to see what a little 'Mackenzie' would look/act like. But I always only wanted two kids, and that was Jordan and mine's plan from the get-go.

I can say with 99% certainty, that I will never be a stay-at-home mom. I have never wanted to be one, and it was confirmed with my 5-month leave when I stayed home with Austin. And with everyday bills, I don't know how people really survive on one income, to be honest. So, knowing that I will be a working mom, childcare expenses get hefty. I'm already dreading adding the expense of Chase at our daycare. But we love it there, and you honestly get what you pay for. When I think about adding a third child to the expense, my stomach drops. And neither Jordan or I were fortunate enough to have our parents pay for college and all the expenses that come with it. As a result, we've got lots and lots of student loans to pay back before our kids go off to college. We've started up a college fund for Austin and plan to do the same for Chase.

Nevermind the expenses that come with additional kids, how do you find time to give them enough attention and everything? And then there's the obvious 1:1 ratio that just completely makes sense. Who wants to be outnumbered? And when you go to amusement parks, then you have an odd number of people and someone gets stuck riding by themselves. I know, silly thoughts. But these are all pros and cons that have been floating around in my head trying to rationalize my decision.

Not to mention the fact that I don't have easy pregnancies. Maybe if I did, I would be more willing to do it all over again. But throwing up non-stop for 5 months is hard on the body, and makes it difficult to care for a toddler.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying that everyone should stop at two kids. Everyone has a right to their decision. But the Houghams will be happy with our two little boys and not look back thinking what could have been. I don't mind being the queen in my castle, with all my boys. :)

This seems like a rambling post. But what else am I supposed to do while I stay off my feet? I expect you'll be getting more frequent blog posts from me in the upcoming weeks........